I Seem to Have Lost My Lap (Slice of Life)

I Seem to Have Lost My Lap (Slice of Life)

“Things just seem to fall into your lap!”

If James Percival, or Percy, as most folks called him, had a dollar for each time he heard that exact phrase, he would have long ago been financially set for the rest of his life. And, so would his children and their kids – probably enough to support three future generations.

Although this phrase has become cliché, it wasn’t much of an exaggeration when it came to Percy. In fact, anyone who knew the man would wholeheartedly agree. The guy just had that much charisma. People genuinely liked him for that very quality and a healthy variety of other reasons. If you name a positive characteristic, J.P., another nickname people sometimes used to refer to him, had it. What’s more, he seemed completely devoid of the bad stuff.

But, despite these very fine attributes, along with an impeccable sales record (one the company had never before experienced), his fortunes took a turn for the worse and left him completely baffled as to why.

For years and years, he was at the tip top of the game and seemingly all at once, fell hard onto an oblique bottom without any apparent reason. A turn of events so profound and sudden, it felt surreal, even unimaginable.

What’s more, he certainly wasn’t the only one bewildered. His superiors and colleagues alike could have never predicted such a scenario. A predicament that presented itself as nothing less than insurmountable. 

It was like he lost his magic touch, the envy of all his peers, and would never again be imbued with such mystic prowess. Although, if anyone could solve this particularly prickly puzzle, it would be him. After all, he had the experience and the accomplishments to prove it.

Up from Unostentatious

James Percival was born into a very ordinary household – what many would instinctively label as “modest beginnings.” His parents worked average jobs and provided an attentive and loving environment. They weren’t by any means perfect, but gave him stability and encouragement, yet were strict and demanded respect. His mother and father challenged him with new experiences, but never pushed him into anything. Instead, they allowed him to decide.

Together, they attended church regularly, enjoyed quiet meals around the dinner table, and explored new places twice a year on family vacations. They traveled to just about every big destination by the time Percy had turned fourteen – the nation’s capital, the Big Apple, the Big Easy, the Grand Canyon, the Blue Ridge Parkway, Key West, and the giant redwoods.

J.P.’s father made a decent living running a hardware store started by his namesake, James Percival Jr., who first opened the business. Percy’s grandfather passed on the shop to his father but the young man would go on to take an entirely different route. He wouldn’t become a musician and teacher like his mother, either. 

By the time he reached sixteen, James knew he wanted to travel as much as possible. Not just on family getaways, but full-time. He loved being on the road, seeing new sights, and meeting new people. The only problem was he didn’t have the faintest idea of how he could pursue his dream.

Then, during his senior year in high school, an opportunity presented itself on career day in the most unusual way. While listening to a parent speak about his job, J.P.  noticed a man walk from the parking lot to the school office, dressed in a suit and tie, though still looking somewhat casual, with a big smile on his face. 

A short time later, as the parent wrapped up his talk, the man appeared again, strolling out to his car with the principal accompanying. They shared a few words, laughed, and shook hands. Curious about this mystery figure, Percy, asked to be momentarily excused from class so he could use the bathroom. But his real intention was to intercept the administrator. 

Block, Capture, Check, and Checkmate

J.P. quickly walked out of the room and ran into the hallway, stopping the principal, who was on his way back to his office. James asked the head of the school who the man was and learned the visitor was a traveling salesman. And, not just any door-to-door solicitor, but a very accomplished tradesperson who happened to obtain an impressive record as an ingenuitive chess player. 

That fact struck Percy odd. Why would the headmaster mention such a thing in the first place? It had to have some solid significance and that led the high schooler to the library after dismissal. There, he thumbed through a few books. He soon realized there was a strong intersection between the board game and being a salesperson.

Rushing home, James burst through the door and hurried into the attic, where he frantically looked through box after box, before finally finding an old, dusty chessboard. He brought it into the kitchen and gave it a thorough cleaning, then glanced through the instruction manual. 

That evening, Percy carefully read the entire handbook of rules and strategies, taking notes along the way. When his father arrived late from work as was customary, J.P. challenged his dad to a game after dinner. The match didn’t last long and abruptly ended with a checkmate in approximately forty moves.

The loss wasn’t altogether surprising, but nevertheless disappointing. James understood he was new to the game and his father’s win was largely due to past experience – though his dad had not played in many years. Still, it motivated the high schooler to read and practice more. 

Within a few months, the senior had joined the school club and racked up a few narrow victories. By the end of the year, Percy had made a lot of progress and this reinforced his idea that the board game and sales were indeed deeply interlinked. He devoured everything to do with either endeavor and after graduation, sought out a local company in need of a salesperson.

Hired to take over a part-time route, he attended a nearby college, pursuing a degree in business. On campus, he met several other students who also enjoyed playing chess and they formed a group, which eventually gained formal status from the university.

Collectively, the newly-established club put up an impressive record playing against rival schools. It was at one tournament that J.P. came very close to walking away from the match with the top prize. His consolation, though, came in the form of a beautiful young woman, who was there to cheer on her brother – the very person who won it all.

A Swing and a Kiss Goodbye

A cute girl with strawberry blonde hair, hazel eyes, and a quirky laugh, she stole all his attention the moment they were introduced. James had never met someone like her and immediately asked for a date on the spot, stumbling and stuttering his way through the invitation with the most awkward wording. But, his sincerity was charming and she readily accepted.

They spent an afternoon together at the farmer’s market, enjoying a small lunch, and then visited an ice cream parlor. The next evening, it was dinner and a movie, and that weekend, the opening of new exhibits at a favorite art gallery. 

The months flew by and they had some really good times together, but he just couldn’t bring himself to make a commitment. After more than a year together, she realized he wasn’t planning to propose anytime soon or in the future. 

She reluctantly brought up the subject one evening while they were strolling through the park. Unlike many other couples at the same juncture, they didn’t get into a heated argument or have a shouting match. Instead, they came to an agreement to briefly part ways for two weeks, then meet again at a place they’d never been together.

The arrangement worked out well and they continued dating for another year. Then, he was offered a raise and a bigger sales route, which would put him on the road at least six months out of the year. Ultimately, it meant living a bachelor’s life and she eventually moved away, married, and had children.

Although heartbreaking at first, he got over it and dated a few more times, yet none of those relationships worked out. Though, he did hold out hope that someday, he would meet someone and settle down. In the meantime, he had a job to do, appointments to keep, and people to meet. 

An Unstoppable Stride

The opportunity exploded in a way that Percy – nor his employer – could imagine. He racked up sale after sale and quickly became a master of the upsell. Soon, he took the top spot in the office and his reputation managed to proceed him all the way to corporate. Headquarters insisted he relocate again and that put him on the road a good eight months out of the year.

Although many people wondered how he did it in such a short time span, his approach wasn’t very complicated whatsoever. Though, it did indeed take quite a bit of finesse and a good deal of ingenuity to blend it seamlessly all together and that was the secret sauce. He simply knew how to make it work and the result was that it appeared effortless to everyone else.

J.P. approached the sales process like a game of chess. Two people match wits using the various pieces on a board. Those pieces, if used strategically, would help him to navigate the negotiation by interacting with his customers’ actions, reactions, and needs. Ultimately, his prize was to capture the King and he would use all the tools at his disposal to read the situation.

Sometimes, it was little moves that called for a pawn. Other times, a rook or bishop might be most appropriate. In certain scenarios, the knight was the choice for a particular predicament. Only in extreme circumstances would the power of the Queen be brought to bear. He used the latter rarely, and only sparingly at that.

These are the qualities and instincts which made him look exactly like a natural-born salesman. But in reality, it was actually an amalgamation of his own ingredients, hand-picked, and trial-tested – sometimes subtly and other times, bluntly. Regardless, he always read the situation to choose the right approach. 

This streak went on and on for quite a bit of time, lasting more than five years. During that period, no one came close to touching his record. In fact, the runner-up was substantially behind his numbers – so much even if second place was given a lot of extra time and many more leads, he’d still fall short.

Then, the unbelievable happened and turned everything upside down. In a matter of months, James’ remarkable performance came under threat from the company’s nearest rival. An organization that had begun to branch out by staking a claim. And, that meant having to go head to head with Percy’s prowess. Unfortunately for the veteran salesman, his competitor also had a knack for the business.

Running Out of Road

At first, the challenger made little progress, only managing to siphon off a few transactions here and there. But, J.P.’s competition did make a few significant inroads and eventually posed a real threat. What’s more, it was more than the numbers that were showing a considerable shift. There was a palpable feeling that the market was trending toward the rival. 

Perhaps what was most strange during this slow transition was the fact there wasn’t a whole lot of differentiation when it came right down to pure quality. Sure, the rival’s prices were strongly competitive and enough to make them enticing. Also, the new player boasted a better delivery experience. Still, these were only marginal differences, and without a bit of finagling, customers would just stay put. 


That’s where the competition brought its true A game. The new kid on the circuit was indeed formidable. He was devilishly handsome and equipped with a fancy foreign accent. Moreover, he was a bit younger, but not without impressive sophistication. And, like Percy, he had a beaming personality, complete with an upbeat attitude. Plus, accommodating to special requests and always prompt to respond to inquiries and needs.  

Meanwhile, James’ best qualities were only that – characteristics. He didn’t have the X factors working in his favor. Instead of a dashing look, he was average in just about every way. An ordinary face with very few standout, attractive features, and a stature to match. Meanwhile, his new competitor was equipped with a remarkable physique.

Before too long, the rival’s charm, good looks, and products and services took its collective toll, and slowly but surely, customers began to switch. As a result, J.P. saw a dropoff in sales and over the next few months, his numbers fell. So much, it sent a panic off in the home office.

As the company continued to lose business, it became apparent it needed a new strategy. At the very least, another way to compete on a more even playing field. At one point, it was necessary to call an all-hands-on-deck emergency meeting. Everyone was brought in to examine the situation and offer their own solutions. From there, they’d go with the best and most promising suggestions.

But, when it came time for Percy to give his input, he simply sat off in a corner of the conference room, threw up his hands, shrugged his shoulders, shook his head, and stunned everyone in attendance with a simple explanation, “I seemed to have lost my lap.”

A unanimous gasp filled the room as people looked at him in utter disbelief. All of them thought if anyone could come up with a way to turn things around, it would be none other than their very own James Percival. The man who had taken the sales department to new heights and single-handedly made a name for himself throughout the industry. 

However, their star had nothing to offer. Good old, reliable J.P. was human after all. He could be beaten and at his own game, at that. Never before had anyone in the company felt so vulnerable and so helpless. All they could do was watch as more and more damage was inflicted. 

A Marvelous Maneuver

Then, one day while on an otherwise routine sales call, Percy heard something that sparked an idea. During a brief meeting, the customer politely declined to make a purchase, “I’m sorry, there Percy, he’s just got you beat on price. What’s more, he can get stuff to my door quicker.”

“I understand. But, as far as quality goes…”

“There again. It’s just about the same. Perhaps better in some regards. Look, we’ve been doing business for a long time. But, I have to do what’s best for my business and my customers. Plus, every little bit helps.

“Sure. You’re just looking out for your people. I get it. Is there anything I can do?”

“No. It’s just bad timing, I’m afraid. We had to replace the roof, then the wife’s car broke down and we’re in a battle with the manufacturer over the warranty. On top of all that, I’m having to renegotiate my lease on this place since the new commercial management group took over.

“Sheesh. Who needs all that? Especially since little Tony’s birthday is coming up on the twentieth?! By the way, what does little Tony want for his birthday? I bet he asked for a new set of games for that system you just bought him, right?!”

“How did you know, J.P.?”

“Well, it’s not exactly rocket science. I have other customers with kids his age and every single one of them wants…”

“Yep…wants the latest and greatest!”

“I know, I know! Isn’t it crazy? Kids these days – they spend all their time on their phones and online. Remember we had to actually go somewhere to do something. Not anymore. Everything is on-demand.”

“Sure, I remember, Percy”

“So, how about this? I have a friend who creates these games. He runs a boutique coding company. He’s always offering new, never before seen stuff. I’ll have a few shipped right here to you!”

“Oh, no! I couldn’t impose on you like that!”

“Hey, it’s no big deal. I’ll just send him a text and it will all be taken care of. I’m sorry I won’t be around, but be sure to wish little Tony the happiest of birthdays!”

“What can I say, J.P.? You’re the best. Thank you so much! I know he’ll love it!”

Less than a week later, that same customer phoned and placed an order – a big order, “I’ll need that as soon as you can get it to me, J.P. Oh, and by the way, the wife sends her best and wanted me to thank you for making little Tony’s birthday so special. He absolutely loves those new games – he’s the envy of all his friends!”

As they wrapped up their conversation, Percy had an epiphany. Although he couldn’t beat his rival on price, he realized he had one distinct advantage – he not only knew his customers professionally, but personally as well. 

That revelation put Percy on a mission – to send thoughtful gifts to his customers’ wives, husbands, daughters, sons, granddaughters, and grandsons. After all, he knew all their names, their birthdays, anniversaries, and other milestones, like upcoming graduations. 

The strategy worked like a charm. Over the next few months, sales numbers steadily rose, and all the customers who had started to buy from the competition returned with enthusiasm. J.P. got his groove back, and all without having to wait for things to fall in his lap. 


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