A grandfather recounts his freshman high school debate club experience that pitted him against the smartest girl in the class. He tells his granddaughter about the face-off and how it changed his entire life. She learns a valuable lesson, which neatly applies to a set of circumstances she’s currently going through, and resolves a very pressing personal issue…
Zoe knocked on her grandfather’s front door before unlocking it herself. Swinging the entry open, she carefully returned the key to its hiding place and walked into the living room, calling out, “Grandpa!” Then, stopped to listen for an answer but no reply came. “The garage,” she thought, a place where he often spent time tinkering on this or that.
Entering the garage through the kitchen door, she looked right and left only to see an empty space. “Probably the backyard,” she figured. Walking outside, again no trace of her grandfather, which was a bit perplexing. “That leaves the upstairs.” Quietly walking up the stairs, Zoe could hear boxes being shuffled. Peering around the corner, she saw her grandfather going through various boxes.
“Hey Zoe, how’s your day going?” Her grandfather said before she could announce her presence. It was something he did often, even in his mid-sixties, though his career was long over, it was a testament to the fact that old habits die hard.
“All right, I suppose. What’s in the boxes?”
“Personal effects, my dear.” Her grandfather quipped, turning to face his granddaughter who he had not seen in a couple of weeks. “Unusual for you not to stop by for so long.”
“Yeah, I know. Just been busy with a lot of stuff,” she said approaching her grandfather to get a better look at the contents. Inside, some items were familiar, but others totally unknown.
“Oh, I see. You know, I’ve experienced more than my fair share of…”
“I know. I know, Grandpa.”
“Well then, let’s go through this stuff in the boxes, and maybe you’ll share something with me, my sweet.”
Curious, she began to pick through the possessions, pulling out a gold medal with a blue ribbon attached.
“My word. Haven’t seen that in fifty-plus years!” Her grandfather exclaimed.
“First place, high school debate club,” Zoe read the inscription aloud. “You were in a debate club? That’s ironic.”
“What do you mean, dear?”
“Well, it’s just that you’re not much of a talker. And, you rarely argue with anyone about anything. It just doesn’t fit your personality,” she explained.
“Perhaps now. But, remember, people don’t stay the same for their entire lifetimes. Most grow and become different as the years go by. Just like you!”
Zoe smiled, immediately thinking of a prime example. “You taught me not to be afraid of the ocean and I’m as good at sailing now as you ever were. Is that what you mean?”
“That’s just one thing. But, there are more, wouldn’t you say?” Her grandfather asked. “Perhaps it’s trouble at school? Or, is there a boy you like who doesn’t know you exist?”
“Something like that,” Zoe timidly agreed, looking over the details of the gold medal, but avoided looking her grandfather directly in the eye. She sighed, fiddling with the medal to keep her hands occupied. “It’s actually a problem with school.”
“Probably not your grades, huh?”
“No. My grades are fine, as usual. And, no, it’s not about a boy either. Besides, most of them are jerks, anyway.”
“That only leaves girlfriend drama.”
“Yeah — girlfriend drama.”
“Obviously, your grandmother would understand immediately. But, since she’s not here, why don’t you let me give it a try?”
“Okay. So you know Heather — my best friend — right?”
“Sure,” Zoe’s grandfather replied, a noticeable tinge of disapproval in his voice.
“So Heather applied to State. Then, there’s this other girl, Chomden — she and her family are from Myanmar. Chomden is like really, really smart but she comes from a poor family and my friend Heather and Heather’s other friends don’t like her. Anyway, Chomden has also applied to State. But, there’s only one spot left.”
“Okay, I understand; go on.”
“Well, Heather and her family are from Zimbabwe. Her great-grandparents relocated from England to Rhodesia sometime in the nineteen forties or fifties with the trade machine. But, her parents moved to the US just a couple of months after she was born.”
“Born in Rhodesia, err, Zimbabwe, right? After the British had effectively turned the country back over?”
“Yes, exactly. So, her birth certificate is from Zimbabwe — not the Commonwealth of Great Britain.”
“And that means she’s technically from Africa.”
Zoe nodded, knowing her grandfather already understood what was going on. But, she continued to explain her role in the situation. “Heather applied as a minority student to State. Even though her grades aren’t as good as Chomden’s, she’s counting on this to get her into the university. She says it’s just a ‘little white lie’ and won’t hurt anyone.”
“That is, except for this other girl, Chomden?”
“Yeah. Chomden, as I said, is from a poor family. They don’t have the money to send her to State. So, she has to rely on scholarships. But Heather’s family is rich and they can easily pay her tuition, books, dorm, all of it.”
“I take it that her grades are the only obstacle?”
“Yeah. That’s why she’s applying as a minority student from Africa.”
Zoe’s grandfather patted her on the back, stroked his short, gray beard, and sat down in a chair next to the open box.
“That medal you’re holding, it was the first-place prize for winning the ‘Great birdbath debate’ during my freshman year.”
“What Grandpa? Did you say the ‘Great birdbath debate’?”
“Sure did; that’s what we called it. I tried out for the debate club because I wanted to meet a girl. She was probably the smartest student the school had taught in our generation. But, also very pretty, with a contagious smile and a funny laugh. I remember the first time I saw her. It’s still so vivid, just like it was yesterday. It was in the main hallway, near the stairs, right by the lockers. She was new to the area, so I noticed her immediately.”
“You always were detail-oriented. Doesn’t surprise me you remember those little bits of information at all! It’s what made you such an effective diplomat, Mr. Walter J. Williams!” Zoe said, handing the medal over to her grandfather, cracking a smile.
Clutching it in his hand, he gave the first-place prize a quick polish with his shirt sleeve. “Over fifty years ago, the winner earned this,” he says, holding it up to the light. Hard to believe how it came to be and what it means now.”
“I’m sure I’m going to hear about it,” Zoe said snidely, sitting down in a chair beside his, feeling frustrated.
“Well, just around five decades or so ago, I was an awkward, lanky high school freshman with few friends. Mostly kept to myself at that time. I had never seen a girl like this one. Something about the way she walked and carried herself was different. As luck would have it, we were in the same first-period class. I don’t think a soul spoke to her much the entire day, not even the other girls. Just the obligatory ‘hi’ and whatnot.”
“Did you speak with her, Grandpa?” Zoe asked, her curiosity piqued.
“Didn’t really have anything to say; so I didn’t approach her. But that changed the very next day. I saw her go into a room after stopping to read a flyer on the bulletin board encouraging students to sign up for the debate club. So, I figured that was my chance. Problem was, I didn’t know what I was going to say. Worse yet, I had never debated a single person before. Still, I wanted to meet her, so I went into the same room and said to her, ‘Is this where we sign up for the debate club?’ She said ‘Yes,’ and promptly walked away. But, I was determined to make an impression, so I followed her…”
“Excuse me, I just wanted to introduce myself,” Walter said to the new girl after catching up.
“Oh, I’m sorry; kinda like in my own world over here. I didn’t realize you were trying to get my attention. I take it you’re a freshman, too?”
“Unfortunately, not nearly as fresh as freshmen come. In fact, I’ve been here so long I’m downright spoiled. You might even call me rotten.” Walter joked.
“An unconventional sense of humor…uhm…uhm…”
“I apologize; name’s Walter, Walter J. Williams. Actually, Walter J. Williams Jr. or maybe even the second. You know, double capital Roman numeral ‘I’s?’”
“Well, Mr. Walter J. Williams Jr. are you a good debater? I was one of the best at my old school,” she replied, swiping her bangs away from her brown eyes.
“Never really thought about it. But, I can jump really high, like six feet in the air…when I see a spider or snake. So, if I can’t make a good point, guess there’s always gymnastics.” Walter quipped.
“Gymnastics are fun. But I haven’t participated since elementary school.”
“So, how does all this work?”
“I’m not completely sure. But, at my old school — where I just transferred from — the debate team is made up of three people. The instructor will probably have all the applicants debate one another and the three best will make the team. Looks like, including you and me, there are five people competing.”
Walter quickly thrust his left hand into the air in an okay sign, “One, two, three.” He joked.
“I’ll see you around, Walter J. Williams!”
“You can just call me Walt.”
“All right, Walt, see ya later!”
“Okay, what happened next Grandpa? Did you follow her and ask her out?”
“No, I figured I made a good impression and didn’t want to push my luck. So, I went about my day. I remember it going really well, until just before the dismissal bell rang.”
“Hey, Walt! Walt! Wait!”
“Oh, hey Hank. What’s up?”
“Saw you signed up to try out for the debate team.”
“Sure did. But, you don’t have to worry about losing your number one position. I’ll be lucky if I make it at all.”
“No, no. We need all the help we can get!”
“What did Hank mean by that Grandpa?”
“Hank was the classic overachiever — had a big ego to go with it. We weren’t exactly buddy-buddy, but we got along pretty well and hung out after school or on the weekends sometimes. Anyway, Hank was the leader of the debate squad — had been since his first year on the crew when he was a sophomore. He wanted to keep that position in his junior year and through his senior year. But, now he had competition!”
“That makes perfect sense. You were a diplomat, so he was afraid of a natural debater!”
“Not exactly, Zoe.”
“What do you mean, all the help you can get? You’re the president of the club!”
“I know Walt. But my cousin goes to the same school that new girl just transferred from. He tells me she’s really good — like incredible. And, she’s only a freshman.”
“I suppose we’ll all have to up our game then, huh?”
“What If I told you there was another way? A way you can get a fair shake at being on the crew and I stay president of it.”
“Hank wasn’t the type to let anything or anyone get in his way. Kinda like you, when you put your mind to it.”
“Let’s not get sidetracked with that old speech, Grandpa. What happened then?”
“I’m listening Hank.”
“All right, Walt. Here’s the plan. Davie helps run the yearbook team, right?”
“Right!?”
“Well, he doesn’t want to lose his place on the debate team either. So, he’s going to print another flyer about the try-outs…with a new time! This way, the new girl will show up too late, and miss the whole audition.”
“That’s not fair, Grandpa!”
“I know — put me in one hell of a dilemma. I really liked this new girl. But, I’d known Hank for years. Even though we weren’t…uh…uh… ‘besties’ as you call them, we were still friends.”
“I know what you mean.”
“Oh yeah. A real-life double-edged sword. I didn’t want to go along with it. But, I also couldn’t let on that I was interested in her — high school boy stuff. I even thought about not showing up for the tryouts. That way she’d have a better chance of making it on the team. Still, there were three others who were older and were already on the squad. Even if I didn’t show, those three had better chances of being picked by the teacher.”
“Teenage relationships can be so difficult and messy — I feel like I have to deal with unnecessary drama every day. So, what did you do next?”
“Every time I think about it, I’m reminded of the old adage, ‘winners never cheat and cheaters never win,’ because the very next day I checked the flyer on the bulletin board as soon as I got to school. Davie had already switched it out, probably well after all the students and teachers had gone home the day before. I couldn’t tamper with it because one of the debate guys might have seen me and even if they didn’t, a teacher or administrator could have spotted me and that would have given the whole thing away. So I hung around it after every class, hoping to run into the new girl. But, no luck with that strategy. Fortunately, just before I left, we ran into one another.”
“Hey there! Walter, right?”
“Yeah, that’s me.”
“Did you see the school changed the debate team try-out time?”
“Oh, about that. Say, don’t tell anyone else… but, it’s a practical joke!”
“A practical joke?”
“Yep!”
“By who?”
“Probably a jock trying to fool a debate nerd. To prove it, I’ll go with you at the regular time — you’ll see the time change is some type of gag.”
“All right, I’ll meet you outside the library and we’ll go to the auditions together.”
“So, she agreed? Kinda like a first date, huh Grandpa?”
“I certainly liked to think of it as so. But, I was equally as confident she didn’t.”
“Did you go together?”
“Sure did, Zoe. And, it turned out to be one of the most memorable days of my life! I’ll never forget it.”
“Hey Walt, you really ready to go toe to toe with me?”
“Are asking me to dance?”
“No, silly. I mean are you ready to debate?”
“I guess so. Like I mentioned before, I don’t know much about how this works.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll show you the ropes.”
“Sounds like you two hit it off immediately, Grandpa.”
“Looking back, I think she was happy her transition to a new school went so smoothly. I’m sure she got a real kick out of what happened next.”
“Were the others surprised to see her?”
“Definitely. In fact, one of them almost gave the trick away, he yelled out, ‘What’s she doing here? The flyer…er…uh…’ But, he stopped short after nearly giving the jig up. He must have realized if he said anything, the teacher would know. And, they couldn’t say anything to me either in front of the teacher because they’d get caught. So, it worked out nicely.”
“That’s funny, Grandpa. Did you still go through with the tryouts?”
“Oh yeah. The teacher said we’d have five minutes to debate the pros and cons of birdbaths.”
“There you go again with your birdbath nonsense!”
“No, it’s not a joke, Zoe. He literally gave us five minutes to debate the pros and cons of birdbaths. Each student had to pick a side. You know, things like birdbaths help attract wildlife who eat insects. Or, birdbaths are filthy and Petri dishes for algae, mold, and nasty bacteria.”
“Really, Grandpa?”
“Yup, Zoe, really. The instructor said he liked to pick ‘silly and mundane’ topics to see if the students could make them fun and argue compelling points on the fly.”
“How did you do?”
“Came in fourth out of five. Not bad, considering I had never debated anyone before in a formal setting. Actually, it’s what got me interested in politics and international affairs.”
“Okay, so what about the new girl? How did she do?”
“Oh, well she earned first place. Yep. Knocked Hank out of the leadership position, down to second fiddle. That’s why we called it the ‘great birdbath debate.’”
“But if you came in fourth and only three students are picked, that means…”
“It means I didn’t make the debate team my freshman year. But, I did make it the next three years of high school.”
“Then, why do you have this first-place medal if you lost the ‘great birdbath debate?’”
“Because it was your grandmother’s — she won it. The teacher gave it to her. He was ‘impressed’ with her performance.”
“Did Hank or Davie ever get in trouble for what they did?”
“Not by the school. But karma definitely had something to do with it. Hank never regained his leadership role and Davie didn’t make the team again. They both cheated and neither one of them won for doing it, thankfully. If they did fool your grandmother, the school would have lost out on the best talent they ever had for the debate team.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“So, that brings us full circle, huh?”
“What do you mean, Grandpa?”
“I’m talking about your friend Heather.”
“Oh, yeah, that.”
“You have to ask yourself, would a real friend ask you to keep a secret like that? After all, it’s deceiving the college board so she could go to State. And, if you agreed, wouldn’t that make you just as guilty of cheating Chomden out of her deserved opportunity? More importantly, who gets hurt by this ‘little white lie?’ Remember this — if you cheat someone out of something so very big who actually earned it, that’s not such a ‘little’ thing.”
Written April 2022
