Laura looked over at the smart display on the end table next to her husband. It was noticeably, undoubtedly late for a school night – about an hour past their tween boy’s usual bedtime. But, she and her husband had already given their word – a new time for Patrick to tuck in. After all, he wasn’t a baby or a toddler anymore. He wasn’t even in elementary school any longer. A precocious seventh grader with an excellent academic record and a very specific plan for his future adult profession, he successfully negotiated a new time for lights out on school nights.
While it may have been substantially later in the evening, he’d still have enough time to get ample sleep. Regardless, this entirely new situation was worrisome. What if he tossed and turned for an hour or two? Would this throw him off his regular schedule? Could he actually get up in the morning and not be late for school? Would he really have enough time to get dressed and eat a good breakfast? Laura couldn’t help but ruminate over one undisputed fact, if there’s one thing growing boys need beyond anything else, it’s substantial nutritious meals.
Plus, as a doting, caring mom, she felt helpless and guilty – she knew her boy was growing up and it wouldn’t be healthy or wise to treat him any other way – he was fast becoming a young man. Besides, she could still enjoy a little time with him before his bedtime, surrounded by soft stuffed animals, while engaging in their nightly heart-to-heart talk.
Then, when the time came, she got up from the couch and walked into Patrick’s bedroom. Much to her surprise, she saw a space that looked completely different, conspicuously altered – his room felt empty. Those cute stuffed animals weren’t on his bed and he had taken his little elementary finger paintings off his bedroom walls. It was all gone.
“Patty, what happened to your animals and paintings?”
“I put them in my closet – stuffed animals and finger paintings are for toddlers and babies, Mom.”
“Oh…Uhm…okay. Do you still want to lie down and talk?” She asked, her voice slightly cracking as a lump grew in her throat.
“Nah. I’m getting too old for that. Just give me a hug and a kiss and I’ll go to bed soon.”
It was a shocking, unanticipated, bittersweet moment. Suddenly, without any warning or preemptive counsel, every single day after that was different. Not long ago, her presence was welcome and expected on a nightly basis.
That routine was now antiquated in a most inexplicable way and her heart yearned for a time only recently abandoned. Once surrounded by fluffy, cute stuffed animals – all of whom had individual names and personalities that all meant something different – his bed was like any found in any run-of-the-mill hotel or dorm room.
“That was certainly short,” her husband Blake observed. “You’re usually in there for at least an hour.”
“I know. He took all his stuffed animals off his bed and his paintings off the walls and put everything in the closet. Then, he told me he just wanted a hug and kiss goodnight. He didn’t want me to lie down with him.”
“Well, he is getting older – this phase was inevitable.”
“Still, I just wasn’t ready for it. I mean, no warning, no talking about changing things in his room. He just did it on his own,” she explained.
Laura settled into the loveseat by her husband, spread a plush blanket over her legs, and reminisced fondly, scrolling through baby and toddler photos, occasionally wiping a tear from her eye.
She looked fondly at perfectly timed snaps of him in his very first Halloween costume in a pumpkin patch, another, sitting in a high chair, his little face covered in sweet potatoes at his first Thanksgiving dinner, her baby boy sitting on Santa’s lap just days before his first Christmas, his first tee-ball game, and so many other precious memories – like those super precious times when she wasn’t feeling well and he would sweetly bring her one of those very stuffed animals that contributed to her quick recovery.
Moments like water play in the backyard, losing his first tooth, 5th-grade graduation, and his last day of 6th grade before summer break meant more than ever. Now, he was almost a teenager, his 13th birthday in less than a month and he needed her less and less. So, she barely slept that night, spending a lot of time staring up at the dark outlines of the ceiling.
The next morning, she had trouble getting out of bed. When she went into his room to wake him as usual, he was already up and dressed, sitting at his gaming PC, going through notifications. When she asked what he wanted for breakfast, he casually got up, walked toward the kitchen, and said, “I’ll just pour a bowl of cereal and toast an English muffin, Mom.”
It seemed that he’d grown up in just one night. Usually, it was a struggle to get him out of bed – a tag-team effort between her and her husband that took an inordinate amount of time. So much, it typically meant eating part of his breakfast in the car on the way to school in a rush. This, after having to prod him time and again to put on his school clothes and sit down at the table. But not on this day.
As always, he quickly ate whatever he brought along, then turned all his attention to his phone – the occasional “uh-huh” and “yeah” acknowledgments being uttered when asked questions without any elaboration. Even though quite familiar behavior by now, it was very different this morning, given the abrupt changes the night before.
Laura did her best not to press him on any of those changes as she drove. But, it wasn’t easy. She tried to broach the subject to no avail, so she just talked about having a good day. The next few hours she spent replaying the events, telling herself it was all just part of her little boy growing up. The whole day seemed surreal, and that perspective didn’t change when she picked Patrick up.
Only minutes after the dismissal bell rang, he came out the doors. But, his usual demeanor of smiling and chuckling wasn’t present. Instead, he looked melancholic – sad and deflated. It was like he had a cloud of gloom over his head. Concerned, Laura asked her son what was wrong.
“Oh, nothing.”
“Well, it’s got to be something. You don’t walk around with that look on your face when everything is fine. Did you get in trouble at school?”
“No, no trouble.”
“Is it that boy Aaron? Is he being a jerk again?”
“No, Aaron wasn’t even in school today, Mom.”
“Okay, did you see your friend Annebelle? You two get along so well and she’s such a cute girl!”
“Girls are gross, Mom.”
Laura tried to get Patrick to open up but quickly decided to just let him be. If given some time, he’d eventually come around and confide in her like he always did – it was a matter of employing some strategic patience – though it wasn’t easy for her to bear.
By the time they got home, his mood had improved. Just before they pulled into their driveway, he asked if he could hang out with his friends that afternoon.
“Sure, Patty. I’ll get some snacks and drinks together. You and your friends can ride bikes, play some basketball, or watch a movie.”
“Mom, nobody is coming over to our house…I meant my online friends.”
This too was a tough transition. Prior to him getting a gaming setup for Christmas, he hung out with neighborhood kids and friends from school. They’d spend the afternoon outside doing all kinds of things. But, that had changed in recent weeks and now, almost all of his after-school, free-time interactions were online.
“Oh, sure, you can hang out with them. Just remember, don’t give out any personal information.”
“I know, Mom, I know. You’ve only said that like one gazillion times.”
Patrick really enjoyed playing online games with kids of his age from all over. He’d spend an hour or two chatting, laughing, and having a good time. And, Laura got a lot of joy out of listening to him through his door.
“Here, I brought you a snack and a glass of ice water.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
She went about her household chores, occasionally pausing to hear her boy chuckle. About an hour later, the noise from his room had quieted down and complete silence soon followed.
“Hey, Laura, what’s for dinner?” Her husband Blake said, walking through the front door.
“I’ve got one of our all-time favorites going in the slow cooker.”
“How’s Patty?”
“He’s fine – in his room, playing on his PC with his online friends.”
“Funny, I don’t hear anything.”
“Oh, he’s probably lying on his bed, watching videos with his earbuds.”
“Okay, I’ll just go say ‘Hi’.”
“Laura, would you please come in here?”
“Yeah, be right there!”
When she entered Patty’s room, she saw him lying on his bed, looking peaked and pale, curled up under his comforter.
“Blake, please get the thermometer.”
“Be right back.”
“What’s the matter, Patty?”
“I don’t know. I was just playing online and I started feeling tired and now, my stomach hurts and my throat is sore, Mom.”
“Are you congested?”
“Yeah; and I’m freezing.”
“Thanks, Blake. Here Patty, let’s take your temperature. Oh my, it’s over one hundred degrees and your forehead feels warm to the touch. He’s got a fever, upset stomach, and sore throat.”
“Sounds like you’ve got a touch of the flu there bud.”
“Blake, would you please refill his water bottle with fresh water and ice? Also, grab a washcloth, dampen it, and get the acetaminophen in the bathroom, thanks.”
“Now, here, Patty. Take this with some water and put this damp towel on your forehead – it will help you feel better.”
“I’ll heat up some chicken noodle soup and open a box of crackers, Laura.”
“Thanks, I’ll stay here with him.”
Laura sat down on the bed beside her boy, caressing his hair. “I was worried about you when I picked you up from school – you had such a sad look on your face.”
“Oh that. That was just some stupid boys being boys stuff, Mom.”
“Well, I’m glad it wasn’t anything serious.”
“Do you think you could stay with me for a little while?”
It was the most heartwarming request she’d heard in quite some time from her boy – it made her feel good to hear it and to be such a comfort to him. She realized at that moment he would never sleep with his stuffed animals again – he’d never hang his elementary paintings up again. But, he would always need her. He would always be her son.
