A troubled, deeply unfulfilled yet very successful middle-aged corporate executive, who was brought up in a wealthy but highly dysfunctional household, is given a remarkable chance to change his life; and after accepting the exceptionally rare offer, experiences an outcome that is utterly unimaginable…
Theodore begrudgingly woke to an intense ray of sunlight, piercing through a slim gap in the otherwise tightly closed window blinds of his corner office suite. Weirdly contorted on a couch meant for clients, vendors, and visitors, he could barely draw focus on the coffee table – littered with empty liquor bottles – merely an arm’s length away – through weary, bloodshot eyes.
Slowly realizing the foul taste in his mouth, he began to gasp for fresh air, then cough uncontrollably, forcing phlegm to spatter out onto the white cushions, and spilling an open plastic bag, containing about two grams of cocaine.
Still groggy and reeling from the super late, one-person pity party of the night before, he clumsily tried to scoop the spilled powder back into the bag, causing him to lose his balance and fall right off the sofa, onto the unforgivingly hard, thinly padded carpet floor, immediately suffering cuts to his palms from shards of broken glass that were once part of an expensive rocks glass he angrily smashed just hours ago.
But, before he could examine the extent of his new wounds or even attempt to treat them, a familiar uneasiness quickly crept up from the pit of his stomach, forcing him to hastily stumble to the bathroom and simultaneously throw the lid and seat up against the tank. The vomit stunk so badly, it triggered an immediate gag reflex, throwing him into trembling convulsions.
This was by no means the first time, though every single incident prior, he had sworn to himself that he would never let it go that far. Now, with the latest promise broken, all he could do was get himself cleaned up and try to make it through another day – something that proved more and more difficult as the months and years unrelentingly came and went, without so much as a scintilla of genuine hope.
To Theodore, hope was the cruelest of concepts – things he sincerely wished for but never actually experienced in any real or even satisfactory sense had ever materialized. At least, that’s the way it felt. Though, he knew deep down he seriously contributed to the culpability. Although, he greatly preferred to place the blame squarely on the shoulders of his unloving parents.
Born on the upper east side of Manhattan nearly forty-four years ago, Theodore should have enjoyed an idyllic childhood. After all, both his parents came from money – his paternal grandparents had made their fortune from a generations’ old family business and his maternal grandparents came from a long lineage of British aristocracy.
As a kid, he was surrounded by opulence and luxury, including formal staff who attended to all his family’s needs. It was ostensibly a life anyone of lesser means would envy, but it was also an all-encompassing nightmare.
Theodore’s parents never showed love, his mother had not held him one single time since birth, and did not display any sense of motherly care. His father was a distant and distrustful man, who was quick to jump to conclusions and deliver the harshest of punishments for the slightest infractions.
Both his father and mother drank heavily during the evenings, though always in the privacy of their home and never in front of company. So, they weren’t harsh to him in the presence of guests or relatives. But, that forbearance disappeared when no one else was around.
His mother, Genevieve, regularly spent her nights in the master bedroom suite, watching television until she passed out in her bed or one of the chairs near the fireplace.
Meanwhile, his father, Theodore Allen Watson III, spent his nights much the same. Typically, he’d down several glasses while looking through the latest OTB betting odds and/or flipping through nudie magazines. (All of which he regularly attempted to conceal in vain from the staff.)
Inevitably, he’d blackout in his favorite chair in the study for a few hours, then stumble up to the master bedroom, where he would enter as quietly as possible, so as not to disturb his slumbering wife.
Unsurprisingly, the couple’s ruses weren’t sophisticated or consistent enough to keep their vices secret. Everyone who attended to the couple and their son knew the family’s dirty laundry – like the father’s occasional pant soiling when he had too much of a particular drink the night before. Or, the way his mother wielded rumor and innuendo like a weapon against her so-called friends. Additionally, both were also quite spiteful individuals and neither could be considered generous in any demonstrable manner.
Theodore Allen Watson III sounded like a grand name and his father and grandfather undoubtedly lived up to the family’s reputation. But, the third-generation Theodore was altogether different. He did not share his father’s or grandfather’s deeply held belief in benevolence and kindness, particularly toward children.
Instead, Theodore III was a strict “disciplinarian,” who insisted on corporal punishment, which actually meant beating his son with closed fists or lashing his child with a leather belt. And, there certainly wasn’t any sympathy from the boy’s mother, Genevieve.
So, Theodore Allen Watson IV, though surrounded by the finest things money could buy and then some, grew up in an abusive, loveless household.
But, he did enjoy a brief reprieve. After middle school, when the abuse was routine, his parents sent him to a posh boarding school. Unsurprisingly, a child so mistreated and untrusting of adults didn’t fare well. Though bright and a quick learner, his behavior got him into trouble on a nearly predictable basis.
That prompted a transfer to a nearby private school, which put him at the mercy of his parents daily. The abuse resumed and worsened until his father fell ill.
Eventually, Theodore IV managed to make it through to graduation – but barely. Regardless, a college spot conveniently opened at a prestigious university. (Not coincidentally, the same institution of higher learning his parents financially supported.)
Here, he fell into the frat boy life, drinking almost nightly, and experimenting with drugs. It wasn’t long before the experimentation became habitual and, had it not been for the influence of his parents and their wealth, he would have failed out.
The degree he held he never actually earned, but it gave him the veneer of genuineness and that was all his family cared about. Shortly after he joined the family business, his father, Theodore III’s illness had worsened to the point he could no longer run the company.
Theodore IV was given the position, though there were people far more qualified to head up the business. Within just a few years, the ill-equipped heir had destroyed the company from within, leaving him without a job.
Fortunately, someone with his connections had no problem finding a new position. But this time, informed by experience, he took a different tact. And, the change served him well, although it meant taking advantage of anyone and everyone he came across. Still, it gave him the necessary sales record to climb his way straight up the corporate ladder, and by the time he was thirty, he had secured a lucrative position, married, and even had children of his own.
But now, clenching the rim of a cold toilet bowl, desperately fighting off a self-induced sickness, practically all of that life had gone away. He precariously held onto his job and he’d not seen his estranged wife or kids for several months.
Theodore’s name was fast becoming notorious, due to his less-than-ethical business practices, along with his drinking and drug consumption, which increasingly became problematic for clients, peers, and just about everyone else. Even worse, he had no prospects outside of his current role.
But, that was a concern for a later time. He’d have to deal with the immediate mess, which required a great deal of discomfort, starting with shoving his middle and index finger down his throat and force-heaving what was left in his grumbling stomach.
Drenching his head under the faucet of the sink, he rubbed his face vigorously and repeatedly rinsed with mouthwash, finishing by slicking his damp hair back after patting it several times with a dry towel.
Donning a new, clean shirt, pants, and tie, Theodore put his dirty clothes into a laundry bag he kept in his office, then consulted his schedule for the day, before venturing out of the building and down to the nearest coffee shop, where he could wake up and recharge with a light breakfast – a bagel and coffee – enhanced with a half shot of whiskey to go, and cream and sugar.
The morning was particularly rough but the afternoon brought some good news after bumping into an old acquaintance who just happened to be looking for someone to handle his business. It was a great fit and would give Theodore bragging rights about bringing on a new client, even though it was much more about just being in the right place at the right time than anything else. Still, his bosses wouldn’t know it was mere coincidence and he could play it up in a light very favorable to him.
In spite of the fact it was a good thing, he had to immediately get to work and stay after hours, which would impress both the new client and the partners at the firm. With some solid hours of work accomplished, made better with a novel approach, the late afternoon had come, making it the right time for a little celebration.
Coat in hand and bolstered with a bit of satisfaction over a job well done, Theodore thought the occasion called for a change in atmosphere – somewhere he hadn’t been before. As chance would have it, a new restaurant had recently opened, complete with a lively night scene.
A small appetizer and neat bourbon were a fine first course. A few more drinks and a nice cut of steak made for a highly enjoyable entree. He finished up his meal with a decadent dessert – all of which put him in a relaxed mood. So much, he decided to enjoy the fresh air and walk home instead of taking a cab as usual – despite the temperature having noticeably fallen.
Still, a nice stroll along the bustling city streets in brisk air would do him good. It would spare him from the drudgery of having to strike up a conversation with a chatty cabbie or sit through an awkward silence as a company driver unnervingly negotiated his way through the busy stop-and-go traffic.
During his short trek back to his apartment building, he saw a number of familiar sites, some of which never looked so pleasant and inviting before, and others that were downright menacing and disturbing. Just as he passed by the park, one immediately recognizable fixture stooped on the corner, holding a cardboard sign, as always.
Theodore had encountered this disheveled character plenty of times before, but almost exclusively through that of a vehicle window. This was different. He was only feet away and the unmistakable rank of body odor wafted amidst the damp air, assaulting Theodore’s olfactory senses in a seemingly inescapable way.
Giving a wide berth to the vagrant provided no relief from the pungent fetor. Theodore anxiously sought to cross the street and walk parallel at a safe distance. But, there was no break in the traffic, essentially forcing him to continue along the same path. As he walked closer to the destitute man, he put up his coat collar in an attempt to shield his face and his nose.
At that very moment, Theodore sensed someone or something else was approaching the sidewalk, but given the rough night he just suffered hours ago and what he’d drunk at dinner, he couldn’t be sure his eyes weren’t playing tricks. Strangely, as the outline became more distinct but not readily identifiable, the homeless man suddenly stiffened, abruptly gasped, and took his last breath.
Theodore looked left and right, frantically scanning the scene, only to see a now-empty street, uncharacteristically devoid of any traffic and pedestrians. A mere two yards away, lay the lifeless body of the derelict. He fumbled through his pockets, eventually retrieving his phone to call an ambulance. When the paramedics arrived minutes later, he recounted the entire event as best as his foggy memory served, but purposely left out any mention of the mysterious figure that appeared right before and vanished instantaneously after the fateful moment.
Unnerved by the situation, Theodore did the only thing he knew to do – hurry up to his apartment, open the first bottle within reach, and take a huge gulp. He chased it with flat beer, emptying the last of a bottle left by the sink, then stuck his mouth under the faucet to rinse and slurp a little water.
Wiping his face with his sleeve, he rushed into his bedroom, yanked open a drawer, and grabbed a small brown vile, shaking out a line onto a loosely closed fist and sorting it as fast as he could, before the powder could shake off his trembling hand. A couple of drinks later, he showered and sat on the couch, facing a blank television screen for a few moments until he picked up the remote and tapped the power button.
The next morning he woke early to a nightmare, only minutes prior to the alarm sounding. Even though he had ample time to get ready for work, he rushed through his morning routine as quickly as he could so he could get into the office and take advantage of all the distractions a typical day brought.
The rest of the week was fairly uneventful – save for a couple of marginally notable moments. By the time the weekend rolled around, things were pretty much normal – at least, normal for him. Theodore even managed to put the strange, disturbing incident out of his head. Of course, keeping his handy pocket flask at the ready and a few pills tucked into his pocket certainly helped quite a bit.
Monday came way too soon and brought with it all the familiar unpleasantness: an unceremonious end to the weekend, an early wake-up time, and one big, dense brain fog that made getting out of bed, ready, and out the door, an outright feat of sheer will.
The day drug by as slowly as Theodore ever experienced, so much, he snuck out of the office a few of times for some lengthy breaks. By lunchtime, he could go out, grab a bite, and return right away. So, he picked up a sandwich from a nearby diner, strolled into the park, and found a nice place in the sun to eat.
The bright rays and the fresh air gave him a nice recharge – enough to clear up his head and give him an idea about the new client’s business. Inspired, he promptly finished his lunch, took two swigs from his flask, and hurried to make his way back to the office, only to get stuck in a stationary crowd gathered on the street about a block away.
As he attempted to push his way from the back toward the front, he noticed everyone was looking up at a seventh-floor balcony on the building across the street.
There, a young woman, no more than in her mid-twenties, stood precariously balanced on the railing, holding onto an exterior wall. She appeared distraught, her body fighting to resist swaying with the wind. As she clung perilously, he realized she wasn’t escaping a fire, or some other type of danger, but was about to jump.
He frantically looked around, hoping to see something that would prove his gut instinct wrong. But, only one thing caught his eye – a nondescript silhouette on the sidewalk appeared to beckon the girl above, with a nonchalant hand gesture.
At that moment, she let go, leaned forward, and plunged to her death.
The crowd collectively gasped and quickly surrounded the immediate scene, as emergency lights flashed and sirens wailed. Theodore scanned the block, but just as with the homeless man’s incident, the mysterious figure had disappeared.
Later on that day, he learned the girl who committed suicide had recently lost her eleven-month-old baby to SIDS and was overcome with grief.
Disturbed by the coincidences, Theodore finished up what he started on the new client’s project and then left the office about two hours early – only to be summoned back by his boss, who pulled no punches expressing concern about his latest performance.
Between his two perturbing experiences and heavy alcohol and drug consumption, the blunt admonition came at the worst possible time.
But, he couldn’t afford to ruminate or give in to despondency – he had to buckle up and tackle the rest of the day. That wasn’t an easy thing to do, though it did give him a second chance to save his job. But, it didn’t guarantee his future, either. The writing was clearly on the wall and he was very much in danger of losing his position. That would not fare well with his notorious reputation.
The next few days were nothing less than surreal. Work piled up more than usual and it became increasingly difficult to keep up the pace. Fortunately, he got a much-needed break mid-week and it gave him an opportunity to let up a little. But, that break wouldn’t do him any real favors, either. With time on his hands, he had ample opportunity to binge.
Theodore missed most of Thursday and his absence didn’t go unnoticed. By Friday, he was back in the same position and his lucrative salary and bonuses were very much in peril of being lost. Even worse, he heard about his precariousness straight from his boss, who gave him an ultimatum.
Late Friday afternoon he finished up his work, checking over every detail to ensure he didn’t miss anything, and sent it off up the chain, then nervously waited to hear back, but no critique came in return.
Now, with the evening and weekend fast approaching, he couldn’t stay put. So, Theodore gathered his things and made his way out of the building. He wasted no time getting to a familiar restaurant haunt where he enjoyed a big meal and a few drinks.
After dessert and paying his bill, he walked to the corner to hail a cab, where he ran into the corporate dinner crowd. Some were making their way to the train, while others waited for company cars. Not wanting to compete for a taxi, Theodore decided to walk a few blocks and schedule a rideshare along the way.
As he came to the next intersection, he stopped at the corner, noticing a strange figure staring in his direction from across the street.
Suddenly, a menacing youth approached from behind, grabbed a purse from a woman standing near him, and wrestled to take it from her. Without hesitation, another businessman attempted to intervene, took a hold of the straps, and pulled the handbag away from the assailant.
The would-be mugger, angered by the foiled robbery, immediately retaliated, shoving the good samaritan right into the busy street, pushing him into the path of an oncoming city bus.
The thief instantly fled while the stunned onlookers gasped in horror at what they’d just witnessed.
Only minutes later, an ambulance arrived, accompanied by several police cars. The EMTs attended to the victim, while law enforcement cordoned off the scene and began speaking with the witnesses.
“Excuse me, I’m Officer Karl Diedrick – sorry you have to spend part of your Friday night this way, Mister…”
“Theodore, Theodore Watson.”
“You spell your name how it sounds, I take it?”
“Yes, that’s correct, Officer.”
“Would you please tell me what you saw here?”
“I don’t really know, it all happened so quickly.”
“That’s okay, any details you remember could be very helpful.”
“Well, I wasn’t really looking when it happened. I was…I was…uh…distracted.”
“Distracted? Distracted by what?”
“I’m not sure. I haven’t been in the best of shape lately.”
“Sorry to hear that, Mr. Watson.”
“No, no…it’s my own fault. I’ve been drinking way too much recently – work and personal pressures, you know?”
“Yeah, life can be extremely rough sometimes.”
“Definitely.”
“So, what distracted you, Mr. Watson?”
“Theodore.”
“Okay, Theodore. Could you elaborate on the distraction?”
“I’m afraid it wouldn’t make any sense.”
“Hey, a lot of my typical day doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Go ahead and give it a try.”
“Well, I had just finished dinner and was walking down here to the corner to catch a rideshare. That’s when I saw…I saw…”
“Yes, you saw – what?”
“It’s silly. But, I thought I saw someone – or something – right across the street.”
“All right. And, this has something to do with what happened?”
“Oh, I can’t say, Officer. I can’t even be sure I saw anything.”
“Then what happened next, Mr. Watson?”
“Before I knew what was going on, this hoodlum grabbed that woman’s purse. Then, another guy tried to stop the mugger and that’s when he got pushed.”
“Okay, got it. Thank you so much for your cooperation. Here’s my card. If you remember anything else, don’t hesitate to give me a call.”
“I will, Officer.”
“Say, if you want, one of the other officers can give you a ride home.”
“That’s nice of you to offer. But, I think I’ll just get a cab or rideshare.”
Theodore walked down the block and when he reached the next, got into a taxi. The short ride to his apartment gave him some time to replay the events in his head, but he couldn’t think of any additional details. But, even the unbelievable experience wasn’t enough to preoccupy him with what came next when he opened his mailbox in the lobby.
Among the junk mail was a foreboding envelope, addressed from the Clerk of the Court. He stared at it momentarily, then angrily shoved the letter into his coat pocket, distraught over its presumed contents.
Upstairs in his apartment, he cut the envelope open, tossed the letter opener onto the kitchen counter, and pulled out the papers inside – a finalized Dissolution of Marriage and a Custody Order. His now ex-wife had total custody of their children.
It wasn’t a surprise. This had been in the works for months. But, the timing of such news was not only unexpected, it came from complete strangers. He had no idea who the judge was who signed off on the documents. He’d never even seen nor talked to his wife’s – no, to his ex-wife’s attorney.
“My ex-wife,” he thought, throwing the papers onto the counter, and grabbing the nearest bottle. He took a big swig, swallowed, took a rocks glass out of the sink, filled it about a third of the way, gulped it down, then filled the same glass with water and drank it down in a few consecutive swallows.
He retrieved the documents and began to read through them, page by page, aided by the occasional sip straight from the last of what was in the next bottle. Once empty, he got up, tossed it into the trash, then plucked another from the pantry, and resumed reading.
At first, it was a surreal experience, but the realization of its heavy consequences soon started to become all too clear and deeply hurtful. He could literally feel his heart throb and ache with acute loneliness and despair.
All of the good times were gone. The only thing that remained was the pain. From this very moment, he had no spouse, no children, and his career was teetering on the brink of utter failure. What’s more, all of his family’s wealth was long since gone, and he was alone to blame for all of it.
Nothing could be more clear. A straight, unambiguous line ran from his actions to this unmitigated collapse.
Bearing the cost of it was far too much to ask of such a frail man, one without the internal fortitude to pick up, carry on, and eventually overcome. Any notion of the kind was nothing less than preposterous.
Theodore wallowed, thinking, “Better to face the inevitable and speed it along its way. A release from this incessant series of disappointments, distress, and heartbreak.”
He drank down the last sip and stumbled to his bedroom, clumsily pulling a nightstand drawer open. He fumbled through the contents, eventually finding a clear plastic bag filled with colored pills.
Grasping a handful, Theodore shoved them into his mouth, and swallowed hard, causing him to gag, forcing him into the bathroom, where he thrust his mouth under the faucet to clear his throat.
A convulsion hit his abdomen hard, causing him to clutch his gut through his damp shirt. The room spun around his head, and as he fell to his knees leaning against the vanity, his eyes slowly closed with practically every sensation dulling.
Black.
Groggy, disoriented, and sore, with his cheek pressed against the cold hard tile, he gradually opened his eyes, squinting to avoid direct light. A pool of drool wet the side of his face as he tried in vain to wipe it away. Attempting to get up off the floor, he heard a whisper, “Theodore.”
Reaching for a towel on the rack, his hand trembled uncontrollably, barely able to grasp the wrinkled edge and pull it down. It reeked of stale body odor and vomit, but he lapped it over his face anyway, unable to adjust to his surroundings, which inexplicably seemed distorted and foreign.
Again, the whisper repeated, “Theodore.”
Slowly sitting up, a sharp pain radiated through his back, traveling up his spine to the back of his neck, which stiffened and ached in a way he’d never felt in his entire life, prompting him to vigorously massage it with his fingers and palm for any semblance of relief from the pain.
Then, a strange uneasiness came over him as his eyes focused on a figure seated in a chair situated perpendicular to the end corner of his bed.
“Who’s there?”
“No one.”
“No one, who?”
“Not ‘who,’ but what.”
Theodore tossed the towel onto the floor, rubbed his eyes, and rested his back against the shower door, replying, “What?”
Again, the voice repeated, “Not ‘who,’ but what, Theodore. You should know what I am by now.”
“I don’t!”
“A sort of detritus.”
“A detritus?”
“Of a kind, yes. I exist off the end of living organisms.”
“So, what is your name?”
“I have no name. I simply exist in a space where others cease to. In fact, you’ve caught three glimpses of what I am – on three separate encounters.”
“Three times?”
“Precisely three.”
At that moment, Theodore realized what it was. It was the manifestation of the three mysterious figures he’d seen when the homeless man died on the sidewalk, the figure beckoning to the young woman who committed suicide, and the one who was present when the businessman was pushed in front of the bus.
“Your death!”
“Yes. Once known to the ancients among your race as Vocitus.”
“But, you’ve never appeared the same.”
“I take on many forms.”
“Why am I the only one who could see you?”
“Sometimes, those who are already dying can see.”
“But, I wasn’t dying on any of those occasions!”
“Yes, Theodore, you were. You have been for many months now. Each day has worn your anatomical, and physiological fortitude down. Your vulnerable mortal frame cannot withstand such abuse.”
“No, that’s not possible!”
“It is. Your excess consumption has come at a cost – a mortal cost.”
“And why tonight?”
“You’ve finally crossed the line and cannot cross back.”
As the figure stood over him, Theodore felt his limbs going limp and his breathing getting increasingly shallow. But, instead of inducing panic, he felt warm and calm, still, he could barely mumble the question, “What?”
“That’s right,” the figure confirmed. “Now, it’s time.”
“I don’t understand,” he murmured, his voice weakening.
“Actually, you do, Theodore. After all, you invited my presence.”
At that moment, he knew precisely what was unfolding. He’d taken too many pills and drank too much to recover. This was the end of his life.
“Please, don’t do this…don’t…”
“But, this is of your own volition, your own doing. Under such circumstances, I am bound to oblige – that’s what fate is.”
“So, that’s what you are?”
“In a sense, yes… I am Vocitus.”
Theodore tried to nod, but his body was increasingly immobilized as the menacing figure continued to approach. He attempted to speak, but could not even muster a mutter.
“This is not how I imagined it would be,” he thought, his mind losing its grasp on consciousness.
“It never is what people have come to believe it is. Whether they’re young or old, sick or healthy, regardless of their situation, their end is always a surprise.”
“You can read my thoughts, Vocitus?”
“Of course Theodore, of course.”
“If only I had had a good childhood, things would be much different now… so much better now.”
“Perhaps.”
“‘Perhaps’? What does that mean? Are you saying I have another chance?”
“That is up to you.”
“Then give it to me! Give it to me now – whatever your name is…give it…give it to me Vocitus!”
“All right, but there is no entitlement and there are no guarantees.”
“Just leave it up to me.”
“As you wish, as you wish.”
Vocitus knelt down in front of Theodore and offered his hand.
To his surprise, Theodore could move again and he eagerly grasped the open hand, only to fall unconscious. When he woke, Vocitus stood beside him, in a totally unfamiliar place.
Theodore looked around, puzzled by his new surroundings. It was an outdated, cramped living space, with sparse, worn furniture. The lights were dim but chipped paint and peeling wallpaper were clearly visible. The corners were dark and the floor dingy. He could hear shouting coming through the wall, mixed with music, the sound of laughter, and muffled conversations. Stranger still, was a calendar dated over thirty years earlier. Nearby, a family of three sat at a small table, holding hands and praying before eating their meager meal.
“Amen!” They said in unison.
“So, Teddy, what would you like for your eighth birthday?”
“I don’t know, Mom. But, you know, one of my friends at school just got the newest gaming system!”
“That sounds like a really good gift, there pal. But, I’m not sure your mom and I can afford something like that. How about this, tomorrow, I’ll help you get a few jobs around the neighborhood. You can earn a little money and just maybe, your mom and I can match it!”
“Well, I’m not sure that’s something I want to do, Dad.”
“Okay, then Teddy, how about your father and I take you out to the beach? We can spend the day swimming and have a picnic, too!”
“Yeah, I guess that’s all right. I just wanted the gaming system.”
Perplexed by what he heard, Theodore asked, “What’s this?”
“Your wish – it has been granted, Theodore.”
“I don’t understand…how?”
“You asked for another chance – a different childhood.”
“Yes, I did. But, this isn’t my childhood home! This place is tiny. It’s dirty. And, in a neighborhood I’ve never been to before!”
“No, not your childhood as you knew it, Theodore. This is an entirely new opportunity. Hence, it’s a different situation altogether.”
“But, this family is obviously poor. My family…my real family…was wealthy!”
“This is your family, Theodore, don’t you recognize them?”
“I suppose my mother and father look similar. Although, they’re still different somehow. Plus, we never ate together, at least as far as I can remember. And, my parents never prayed, either.”
“Is there something wrong with eating together and saying grace?”
“No, of course not. It’s just so out of character!”
“Tell me, Theodore, why would the younger you turn down the opportunity to make money?”
“Because, it sounded like actual work-work. You know, manual labor. Besides, there are plenty of other ways to make money.”
As the family finished their meal, Teddy’s mom asked him to help clear the table and wash the dishes.
“Oh, Mom, can’t I go out and play? It’s already getting dark and I’ve been cooped up in school all day!”
“All right, Teddy. But, I want you to clean up your room after that!”
“I’ll pick up this weekend, Mom. I want to read a comic tonight.”
“Teddy, what have your father and I told you time and again? It’s not healthy to procrastinate – that’s a bad habit to get into, young man! Now, come over here and give me a big hug. I’ll get your bath ready before you come back in and read a comic with you when it’s time for bed.”
“Thanks, Mom!”
“I love you, Teddy!”
“Love you, too, Mom!”
Theodore stood with his mouth agape, in complete shock. He’d never known his mother to be so attentive, kind, and loving. As he watched his younger self enthusiastically run out the door, he saw his father walk over to his mother and give her a hug and peck on the cheek before saying goodbye for the evening.
“Just two more days of double shifts and I’ll be free this weekend, dear! Don’t worry about my breakfast, I’ll fix myself something when I get back in the morning!”
“That should work out just fine! It’ll give me a chance to get to work about an hour early. And, If I stay past a little, that’ll really help us catch up on some of our bills!”
Theodore was taken aback. He’d never heard his parents talk about bills – let alone money. Nonetheless, here they were, speaking openly about their finances. It was so strange, he couldn’t help but remark, “This is truly odd. My mother and father didn’t discuss money.”
“While that may indeed have been the case. This is an altogether different situation, Theodore. You’ll have to accept the fact this experience will not necessarily be the same or even similar. Quite a few things will be very different. Now, let’s move on.”
Vocitus again extended an open hand and when Theodore reached for it, his mind went blank, and once he regained his faculties, they were standing inside the same run-down apartment. But, this time there were colorful, festive decorations hung from the walls.
“Good morning and Merry Christmas Teddy! And, your dad and I have got a big surprise for you!”
“A really big surprise?”
“Giant!”
“Yep, your mother and I have something we think you’ll really like! Any twelve-year-old boy would just love to get it!”
“I think I know what they’re going to give him. I remember this present because it was one of my all-time favorites!”
“Oh, Theodore, and what would that be?”
“It’s everything baseball! Glove, bat, cleats, sunglasses, batter’s glove, equipment bag – the whole kit and kaboodle. Back then, I loved the game. Nothing like going to a game and sitting right behind the dugout! It was one of the few times I actually liked being around my father…when he would take me, that is.”
“I know, Theodore, it wasn’t always your father who took you to the game. But, I seem to recall you did have a lot of fun with others.”
“Sure. I just remember thinking that baseball is a father-son thing.”
“Well, Teddy, go ahead and open your present!”
“All right!”
The young boy tore into a small rectangular box, wrapped in old newspaper, pulling out a folded paper.
“Go ahead, son, read it!”
“Sure, Dad!”
“Well, Teddy, what do you think?”
“I don’t know, Mom.”
“What do you mean, you don’t know? It’s a full week of space camp!”
“Yeah, I see that.”
“Come on, boy, your mother and I worked hard to get this for you! It wasn’t cheap!”
“Oh, I know that, Dad. It’s just…it’s just…that I wanted…I wanted something else.”
“Teddy, you know how much your father and I love you. That’s why we came up with this very special Christmas gift!”
Theodore, watching the exchange intently, nodded his head a few times, paused, and then shook it, murmuring, “Uh huh.”
“I take it you agree with your parents, Theodore?”
“Not exactly.”
“How so?”
“I remember being let down countless times by these people. All that money. All those resources. All the luxury in the world. And yet, they rarely asked what I wanted for Christmas. And, when they did, they got me something else, instead.”
“I seem to recall those were some of the most expensive Christmas presents you’d ever received.”
“Oh, expensive, yes. But, still not what I wanted! I mean, it’s cliche, but there are things you just can’t buy!”
“Mutual exclusively?”
“I suppose that’s one way of putting it. My parents tried to buy my love – not earn it with attention and affection – just stuff.”
“But, remember Theodore, even though these may be your parents, they are not the same people. They sacrificed a lot to give Teddy that space camp gift. Haven’t you noticed they don’t have a present for one another?”
“Uh, no, I must have missed that.”
“All they wanted was to give the best possible gift they could. Now, let’s be on our way. Take my hand.”
Theodore reached out and in an instant, found himself outside, in a corner of a busy office park, where people walked in and out of a building. Before he could ask where he was, his parents and younger self walked out of a door, all of them smiling.
“Congratulations, son! You did it!”
“Thanks, Dad!”
“I’m so proud of you, Teddy!”
“Thanks for your help, Mom!”
“I only helped you study, Teddy. You still had to take the test on your own. I can’t believe my baby boy is sixteen and has just earned his driver’s license!”
“Can I drive home, Dad?”
“Sure thing, son!”
The family got into the car and buckled in. Teddy checked the mirrors, looked left and right, then right, left, and through the rear window. He enthusiastically put the key in the ignition, turned it, and started the engine. As he began to pull out of the parking space, the car sputtered, then the engine promptly shut off.
“Not now!”
“I’m sorry, sport, but it’s an old vehicle.”
“It couldn’t have broken down at a worse time! I was going to take that new girl in school out on a date tonight, Dad!”
“Don’t worry, your mother and I will figure something out, son.”
Later that day, Teddy’s dad handed him a set of car keys, “Borrowed it from a friend at work. Now, go out and have a good time. But, be safe!”
“Thanks, Dad! I’ll be back later tonight. By the way, I’ll need some money, too.”
“All right, but as we’ve said before – if you had your own job, money wouldn’t be such a problem.”
“I told you, school is my job. When I graduate, then I can work and earn some money on my own.”
Watching this unfold, Theodore wrung his hands, perplexed by what he saw. “I still don’t really understand what’s going on here, Vocitus. Why are we seeing this? Sure, this is totally different from the childhood I experienced. But, I don’t get how this…”
“How this, what, Theodore?”
“Well, for one thing, I think it’s…”
“It’s not what you expected. But, it’s what you’re not seeming to pick up that’s most important. Perhaps what happens next will help you understand.”
With that, Vocitus waved his hand. It was now well after 2 am and the family of three were dealing with a very difficult situation – something they’d never encountered before.
“I can’t believe you would drink and drive, Teddy! On your very first night of having a driver’s license, you not only caused a car accident, but also get arrested, and we had to bail you out of jail!”
“I made a mistake! What else can I tell you? I made a mistake!”
“Teddy, you know your father and I love you very much. And, we’ll do everything we can to help you through this. But, it’s going to be hard and it’s going to be expensive.”
“I just hope you’ve learned a lesson, son.”
Theodore couldn’t believe what he witnessed because his parents would have never reacted this way. Feeling a bit emotional, he asked Vocitus to take him to the next experience. “I’ve seen enough, let’s move on.”
“All right. The next thing we’ll see is two years from now, just before Teddy’s high school graduation.”
Theodore and Vocitus watched as the family discussed the latest incident, as Teddy’s parents struggled to deal with the most recent situation.
“Could you please tell your mother and me what you were thinking?”
“I was afraid of failing. I’m not as smart as some of the other kids! Besides, the school is terrible. If I was going to the school I wanted to go to, then…”
“Now Teddy, your father and I have told you repeatedly, we can’t afford to send you to a private school. Besides, where you go is one of the best in the district. This isn’t about being smart. It’s about making good choices! Cheating on your school work isn’t a good choice!”
“Teddy, what we’re worried about is that this isn’t just about character – it’s also about how we raised you! You’re trying to take shortcuts and that’s not the way you succeed in life!”
“But, it’s not my fault. Some of that stuff is just too hard and confusing!”
“Then, you’ve got to put the work in, son! It’s that simple!”
“But Dad, I don’t have the extra time!”
“But you have plenty of time to do a lot of other things!”
“Teddy, we all make mistakes. Still, it’s owning up to them that makes people better. Your father is right – you need to make a commitment and stick to it!”
Theodore just hung his head, then shook it, staring at the floor.
“What’s the matter, Theodore?”
“My parents were always strict – didn’t let me get away with anything – and they always went overboard with the slightest little thing! I don’t want to see any more of this, let’s go to the next thing right now!”
“Okay, take my hand.”
Theodore and Vocitus stood inside a huge high school auditorium, packed with students dressed in caps and gowns and their parents. To their side, the family of three posed for a picture, with Teddy holding his diploma.
“We’re so proud of you!”
“Yeah, great job, my boy!”
“Now, let’s get another picture together, and then we’ll go out to eat!”
“Where?”
“Well, we can’t go anywhere overly fancy, but other than that, pretty much any other place. Hey, how about that new restaurant that just opened down around the corner? I’ve heard good things about it!”
“Okay, Dad! But can you and Mom wait a moment? I want to talk to that man over there – he’s a college recruiter.”
“Right now, Teddy?”
“Yeah – it will only take a few minutes.”
“All right. But, I thought we’d already discussed this, son.”
“I know we did, Dad. But I don’t want to go to trade school or into the military!”
“You don’t have to do either, Teddy! Your father and I have told you we’ll help you get in with a good starter job. You can get your foot in the door and work your way up.”
“Come on, Mom. I want to go to a decent college!”
“Teddy, listen son. We’ve talked about this many times. You didn’t put in the work. You didn’t participate in any extracurricular activities. You didn’t apply for any scholarships.”
“I pulled up my grades!”
“Yes, you did. But that was only because your mother and I spent so much time with you. Nights, weekends, mornings before school, and every other chance we had. We’re the ones who supported you in all kinds of ways!”
“Teddy, if it’s that important to you, it’s really important to your dad and me, too! We’ll figure something out. It may not be perfect or even easy – but we’ll find a way.”
As Vocitus and Theodore listened to the discussion, they watched Teddy throw up his hands in anger and walk away from his parents.
“You don’t seem to have much of a reaction. Why is that, Theodore?”
“Not much to say. I think I was just kind of empathizing.”
“How so?”
“I don’t understand why his parents – or my parents – never made an effort to earn more money. At least, to get better-paying jobs. They didn’t have to struggle so much and live paycheck to paycheck!”
“Perhaps they felt fulfilled in what they did for a living. Maybe the money was secondary.”
“I suppose that might explain it. But, if they love Teddy so much, why didn’t they make some changes instead of always putting the onus on him?”
“Lead by example, huh Theodore?”
“Yes, precisely!”
“But that notion necessarily contends they didn’t set a good example in the first place – doesn’t it Theodore?”
“I guess.”
“Okay, let’s move on.”
“Where? Or, should I say when?”
“Bahamian honeymoon – a little more than seven years from now.”
Theodore found himself on the balcony of a hotel right on the water. The crystal blue waves rolled onto the white sand beach below and suddenly, the room door opened abruptly, only to be slammed shut by a young woman who was visibly upset.
“How could you, Teddy? How could you do such a thing?”
“Rachael, I did it for you – for us!”
“So, that makes it all right!?”
“You’re acting like what I did was a crime!”
“Well, it certainly wasn’t fair whatsoever! It was dirty-handed and unethical. But, you don’t care about any of that. I mean, look at you, it’s not even five o’clock and you’re already drunk!”
“Hey, come on, we’re on our honeymoon! I can’t relax and let loose a little?!”
“Our honeymoon?! You didn’t even earn the money you paid for it, Teddy!”
“I most certainly did! I had to close all those sales! Come on, Rachael, do you really think the company would have gotten that business if it weren’t for me!? Do you!?”
“You stole someone else’s leads!”
“No, that’s not what happened! Someone sent an email to the wrong recipient – it just happened to be me. You’re acting as if I broke into someone’s office and physically took a bunch of stuff! Like I deliberately ripped off a co-worker!”
“But, that’s exactly what happened! The fact the information came to you by accident doesn’t make it right. You should have turned those leads over to the person who was supposed to get them!”
“Okay, let’s say I did what you suggest. How do we know that new business was going to the company? Huh? I made it all happen! Those commissions are precisely why we’re on this fabulous honeymoon now! I think you ought to be appreciative of how much I had to do to land that business.”
“It was still wrong!”
“I had to do it, Rachael. We couldn’t afford it otherwise! Man, this is just like what happened with my parents and college! They couldn’t afford the tuition! I had to take drastic action! No one seems to understand that!”
“Teddy, you know I love you – I wouldn’t have married you otherwise. But, I don’t want bad karma in our relationship. Please, just don’t do it again. And, while we’re talking about the right thing, I think it would be best if you cut back on your drinking. Could you please do those things for me?”
Theodore watched intently as Rachael stormed out of the room, crying and Teddy stood incredulous, grabbing a bottle and taking a big gulp.
“We’ve got three more stops, Theodore, it’s time to go now.”
“To when and where – dare I ask?”
“Again, just over seven years from now.”
Theodore looked on from a busy commercial building lobby, as people hurriedly made their way in and out. Teddy paced anxiously back and forth in a hallway, trying to carry on a phone conversation without being overheard, cupping his free hand over the microphone and speaking as softly as he could to be heard but not broadcast what he was saying.
“Rachael, would you just let me talk to the kids for a few moments? I don’t think that’s too much to ask.”
“Okay, Teddy, but don’t make any more promises you’re not going to keep. They’ve been disappointed way too many times. They’re only five and seven and empty promises really hurt.”
“Rachael, I’m not trying to hurt them. It’s just that my schedule can be unpredictable. You of all people should know that by now!”
“I get that, Teddy… but when you don’t follow through with what you promise… it makes it very hard, very hard to uh…”
“All right. Let me talk to the boys, okay?”
“Just a moment…here they are! Say ‘Hi’ to Daddy!”
“Hey, boys! How are you two?”
“Good.”
“Fine.”
“I don’t know if Mommy told you, but I’m gonna be home real soon. And guess what else?”
“What, Daddy?”
“I’m getting off the road, so I’ll be home a lot more.”
Instead of hearing excitement, Teddy only heard silence, followed by what sounded like muffled crying. Rachael spoke softly, comforting them.
“Okay, you two just sit down – I’ll fix you both a snack in a moment.”
“What’s that all about, Rachael?”
She didn’t want to answer directly, because she was sure she heard her husband slightly slurring his words. So, she calmly explained that their boys were a little upset.
“‘Upset’? Upset about what, Rachael?!”
“Please, keep your voice down, Teddy.”
“I just want to know what the hell is going on!”
“You have a tendency to overreact, raise your voice, break things, and…”
“Again with the whole ‘you’re frightening the children’ thing, Rachael?!”
“Let’s not start an argument, Teddy.”
“That’s easy for you to say. I’m the one on the road, away from my home and family, just trying to make a decent living so you don’t have to work and be out of the house.”
“It’s not about you – or me. It’s about our kids. Now, I’ve got to go and get them a snack. We’ll talk when you get back, okay?”
“All right. I’ve got a meeting soon, anyway. This guy’s a tough one, but I’ll get his business. With the commission, we may even be able to enjoy a little staycation. You know, take the boys to the zoo, movies, whatever. Or, perhaps get out of town altogether, you know, up to the mountains, rent a cabin, and get outdoors.”
“That sounds good, Teddy. But, first, we’ve got to fix the drywall in the dining and living rooms, those holes have to be patched. And, we’ve still got to replace the wine cooler fridge in the kitchen, too. It’s not good for all that stuff to stay broken, I don’t want the kids to get used to…”
“I know, I know, Rachael.”
“And, besides, we can’t have any guests over until it’s all fixed, especially if you want any of your co-workers or potential clients to come over for…”
“It’s a mess, I know, I don’t need a lecture. I admit I lost my temper. And, I’ve already apologized and can’t take everything back. We’ll get it squared away…okay? Please, Rachael, don’t be difficult. I’ll make it alright – like none of it even happened.”
It was a promise Rachael had already heard before – too many times before. She’d listened to all his explanations and excuses and was becoming less and less persuadable – especially when he was clearly drinking again. With two little boys in the house, she had grown weary and started to think seriously about beginning an entirely new life.
As the couple ended their call, Theodore insisted in a self-restrained voice, “Vocitus. Let’s move on…now, if you, please!”
“You don’t have to hide your anger. Your emotions are of no consequence to me.”
“And, what about my fate?”
“I am agnostic. I have no stake whatsoever. This disposition does not apply to you alone, but all those I have taken and all those I will take in the future.”
“Yes, I suppose that would be the case. So, since that is your nature, and I am unimportant, then let’s just get this over with.”
“You’re displeased?”
“More like unamused. Where too…or when to next, Vocitus?”
“Eight years. Follow me, Theodore.”
As he walked out of the lobby and through the revolving glass door, he suddenly found himself standing inside a funeral home, with Teddy and Rachael seated at an empty table, bickering.
“Teddy, let’s just get through this. I told you, I’m here for you!”
“And what about the kids?!”
“They don’t belong here – it’s not appropriate!”
“So, you ship them off to your parents’ house?”
“I don’t want them exposed to this scene.”
“Neither do I! It’s not enough that this has to cost so much, but I can’t even have my own children around?”
“Not under these circumstances, no!”
“This is just like you, Rachael. It’s always all about the kids – even when it’s just part of life!”
“Death is part of life – the boys learned that lesson a year ago when…”
“I know, I know, when the damn dog died.”
“They loved that dog – it was very hard on them.”
“Rachael, don’t you dare start on your whole ‘my not being at home enough’ gripe again. I know, another promise given, another promise broken. What can I say? I’ve got to put food on the table, keep them clothed, all that stuff, and when I am home, you send them over to your parents’ place!”
“Teddy, let’s just concentrate on the here and now. Could we do that, please?”
“Okay, all right, whatever. Well, it looks like we’re going to have to go with cremation. They didn’t have any end-of-life coverage and no pre-purchased burial plots. To bury them, it’s going to run at least $14,000. But, cremation comes to less than half of that – about five grand.”
“Teddy, I know this is difficult. And, you know I loved your parents dearly. But, you’re counting every little…”
“Rachael, don’t… not now. I’m only being realistic. I’m basically supporting two households now. And, even with you working part-time, it’s just not…it’s just not enough. We have to be pragmatic here.”
“It’s such a shame. They were such good people.”
“Good people?”
“Yes, Teddy, good people.”
“Lot of good that did them. They worked their whole lives for meager paychecks and this is how they get repaid?!”
“I’m not going to even attempt to tell you it’s fair, because it isn’t. But, they died doing what they did best – helping people. If it hadn’t been for them, that young family wouldn’t have made it through the ordeal. There’s just no way. They sacrificed their own lives for the sake of others!”
“Yes, how noble.”
“Teddy. Do not…”
“What a waste. They never made any money, struggled financially their whole lives, and this is how it all ends – in a furnace – with their only child on the hook for the bill.”
“I’m not going to argue with you about this – or anything else for that matter.”
“Does that include the kids?”
“Yes, it most certainly does. I wouldn’t have to send them to my parents if you would just make a few changes. I’m not preaching, Teddy, I’m merely telling you how it is.”
“You mean, how you want it to be!”
“No! No! It’s not how I want it to be. I’d rather be a part of a loving family. Heck, a functional family would be enough!”
“Then, it’s all about me?” He snapped back angrily, pulling a flask from his back pocket and taking a quick drink.
“If you take it that way, I guess so. But, it’s about what’s best for our family – for our boys! And, this isn’t helping any. You’ve got to get a hold of this habit…it’s ruining you, us, and our family.”
“What family? We’re barely a family anymore, Rachael.”
“I really don’t want it to be this way, Teddy.”
Exhausted by the strife, Rachael stood up, shrugged her shoulders, sighed, and walked out of the room, leaving her husband alone, wringing his hands.
“She doesn’t seem to get it, Vocitus.”
“Is that what you take from this interaction, Theodore?”
“Well, perhaps it isn’t a complete evaluation, but that’s the gist of it.”
“How so?”
“He’s obviously at his wit’s end. Still, I understand she’s hurting too.”
“Yes.”
“I think it’s time to move on to the next… so, when is it?”
“Four years from now.”
“Let’s go.”
“As you wish, Theodore.”
Vocitus gestured, pointing toward a narrow hallway nearby, prompting Theodore to start walking down the passage. Before he reached the end, the walls closed in, and he stood in a dark corner of a very dimly lit space.
An instant later, Teddy stumbled into the room, disheveled and unshaven, turning on the lights, reading something on his phone, and mumbling, “So, now they’re going to fire me?”
“Vocitus, what are we doing in my office?”
“It’s not yours, Theodore, it’s his.”
Empty liquor bottles littered the coffee table and several wrinkled documents lay beside them. Theodore peaked at the papers, surprised to see a request for dissolution of marriage and a petition for minor child custody order with Rachael’s signature on each pleading.
“Vocitus! What’s going on?!”
“What do you mean, Theodore?”
“This, what’s going on here?! He had caring, supportive parents, a good home, all kinds of potential, and the love of an empathetic, beautiful woman. And it all ends up in shambles?! How could it go so wrong for him…I mean, for me? How could it all go so wrong for me?! Everything was so completely different!”
“Everything else was entirely different, Theodore.”
“What?!”
“It’s a very simple explanation… because you took you with you. You never changed a thing about yourself.”
“So, this was inevitable?”
“Fate is inevitable. The choices you make along the way are your own. Very few of your choices differed. And, your attitude stayed almost entirely the same.”
Shocked by what he was seeing. Theodore rubbed his face in frustration, wrung his hands, then looked out the nearest window where he could see the stars coming out and the moon in the distance. As he approached the glass, he could faintly make out a reflection, but it wasn’t him – it was Teddy in the background, sitting on the couch, reaching for a bag of colored pills.
Theodore quickly spun around, watching helplessly as Teddy pulverized them into powder with a paperweight, then clumsily poured the contents into a drink and gulped it all down in deliberate haste.
Seconds later, Teddy’s body violently convulsed and fell limp over the couch. Then, he suddenly twitched, began to vomit, and aspirated. As he choked, Theodore felt his throat close up, grasped at his neck with his hands, and gasped desperately for air.
Suddenly, Teddy vanished from the room and Theodore found himself lying prostrate on the couch staring up at Vocitus, who reached out his hand one last time.
