Tips for Men Writing Women’s Characters’ Dialogue in Fiction

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Creating authentic and believable dialogue for characters is a vital aspect of storytelling, regardless of gender. However, when male authors attempt to write female characters’ dialogue, they may face the challenge of accurately capturing women’s voices and experiences. To ensure genuine representation, it is crucial for male writers to approach women’s characters with real-world, day-to-day examples.

Tips for Men Writing Women’s Characters’ Dialogue in Fiction

Women speak about 21,000 words on average per day. Meanwhile, men average about a third, or around 7,000 words per day. To experience examples of this in a staged or produced context (which helps to mimic realistic fiction), simply watch an episode of Joanna Gaines’ Magnolia Table and also a video of Gordon Ramsay for comparison and contrast. 

Joanna tells personal stories and shares fond memories while going through the recipe, also pointing out her favorite times and occasions to make and serve the meal. By contrast, Gordon talks about best culinary practices, molecular gastronomy and more, all while using short, direct phrases, like “pan hot,” “oil in,” and “chicken on.”

Listen and Observe

To create authentic dialogue, actively listen to women in real-life conversations and observe their communication styles. Pay attention to their word choices, sentence structures, intonations, and body language. This attentiveness will help you capture the nuances and individuality of women’s speech patterns.

Women often substitute adjectives with emotions. For instance, flowers aren’t “wilted,” they are “sad” or “depressing.” Conversely, flowers “blooming” are “happy,” or “fun.” Try to keep these descriptions in mind when writing dialogue for female characters. Also, when crafting dialogue for a female antagonist, giving her a more direct, harsh voice will help the reader understand her motives.

Prioritize Individuality

Every character, regardless of gender, should be treated as a unique individual. Develop well-rounded female characters with distinct personalities, motivations, and perspectives. Allow their dialogue to reflect their specific traits and experiences rather than trying to fit them into predetermined gender roles.

Research and Seek Feedback

Engage in thorough research to understand different experiences and perspectives of women. Read books by female authors, explore diverse sources, and seek feedback from women readers or writers who can provide insights and guidance. This research will inform your understanding and help you avoid common pitfalls or clichés.

Consider Context

Dialogue is influenced by various factors, such as cultural background, age, education, and social environment. Consider these contextual elements when crafting women’s dialogue. A character’s background will shape their language choices and speech patterns, offering valuable opportunities for characterization.

Dialogue and Characterization

Remember that dialogue is not solely about gender but also about character development. Consider how each character’s speech reflects their goals, conflicts, relationships, and growth throughout the story. Ensure that the dialogue aligns with their individual journeys and contributes to their overall development.

Additional Tips to Create Believable Dialogue

It’s certainly no secret there are distinct differences in the way men and women speak. Because of this, it’s often difficult for men to write good dialogue for female characters. So, in conjunction with the above, here are some additional tips for writing realistic dialogue for women:

  • Consider the character’s age, social class, and education level. These factors can all affect the way a woman speaks. For example, a young woman from a lower-class background is more likely to use slang than an older woman from an upper-class background.
  • Think about the character’s personality. Is she shy or outgoing? Confident or insecure? Her personality will also affect the way she speaks.
  • Consider the context of the conversation. Is the character talking to a friend, a family member, or a stranger? The context of the conversation can also affect the way she speaks.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you’re not sure how to write realistic dialogue for a female character, ask a woman you know for help. She can give you feedback on your writing and help you to make sure that your dialogue sounds authentic.

By following these tips, you can write realistic dialogue for women that will engage your readers and bring your characters to life.


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Owen is the creator and author of more than sixty original short stories and counting, including drama, crime, suspense, action and adventure, family, historic fiction, sci-fi, and slices of life. He is also a musician who has written extensively about theory.

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